


My Heart Is Gold But My Hands Are Cold

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Angst, Bottom Louis, Criminal Harry Styles, Criminal Louis Tomlinson, Dark Harry, M/M, Sad Louis, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:15:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26372551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A fic I never thought I'd write.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	My Heart Is Gold But My Hands Are Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fellow human beings. This is my first attempt in writing a fic, as this plot was bugging me a lot since these past weeks and I couldn't bear it anymore and then this fic was born.  
> I hope you will enjoy it and stay till the end.
> 
> (Editing will be done as story proceeds.)
> 
> Title: Gasoline by Halsey

The door creaked open as the wild storm raged outside, blood tracing the wood below. The chilly November air curled the hot puffs that formed everytime he opened his mouth to let out a low whine. It was grace he survived.

His left forearm was drenched in blood, the wound wrapped with an old cloth, that too bloody. He rummaged throw the drawers and shelves, the pain not bearable anymore. The lamp above him shook violently as the storm howled and became fierce every passing second. His eyes fell upon a glass jar, purple candy like berries coloring it from the inside. He turned and turned the tight lid, as much as he could through the pain, when it finally clicked open. He started undressing his bloody cloth, forearm going numb with every brush his wound had to take in. With trembling fingers, he got some of that purple paste on his three fingers, ready to feel the sting that would occur the moment it made contact with his skin. 

He hissed as the cold mixture rubbed against his cut, the skin there freezing and feeling like it could rot. He legs gave out as his whole body started shaking with the pain, parts going blue from the cold, with the water dripping inside through his broken roof.

Within seconds, it was silent. No hisses, no whines, no pained calls. Just the creaking of the door, the clinking of the lamp, the rain banging against the window, and an unconscious body near the kitchen slab.

***

It was blurry as he opened his eyes. A body moving around his room, a blanket shielding him from the cold. Sunlight was pouring inside the room like streaks, painting the walls yellow. He rubbed his eyes roughly, left arm feeling as good as paralyzed. The sight, or precisely the person, he was met with was not very surprising. 

"Li-" His voice cracked badly. He cleared his throat, scowling at the discomfort and began again. "Li, where _were_ you last night?! I could have died, you know?!" He got up on his two feet, ignoring the sting that erupted from his arm. His voice was breaking at the edges, the screaming all worth it. "Don't think he doesn't know where you are. You'll greet hell in seconds if he found out where you are. I had one chance, _one chance_ , and you ruined it. I _will_ crush you and _will_ burn you." He grabbed Liam by his collar, voice low and threatening. Liam had never seen him like this before, his mate's eyes bloodshot and grip wild. His eyes widened with every word, knowing that if he spoke back, he would speak for the last time.

The grip loosened as he was thrashed to the ground below. He saw the sleep deprived man throwing the nearest lamp, pieces scattering around, digging into him too. He rushed to the man's side, holding him from doing anything he would regret later. 

"I didn't realize you'd fail. You're the bes-" He was guiding the mad man to his bed, cut off as he heard him growl.

 _Fail_. Louis never _failed_. He would kill, and would harm. Would choke and would bleed, but he would never _fail_. 

The word itself irked Louis up and he lost control. He slapped Liam across the face, with all the energy he had since waking up to a shitty morning, and will keep on slapping him until he will see his palm bleed. 

Liam didn't stop him, touch him, just stood there like a corpse, being beaten for ever existing. The force of the contact lessened with every touch, as tears rolled down Louis' cheek. Liam slowly brought his hands down and let Louis collapse on his chest. 

Cries filled the whole room, the whole house, as the birds chirped outside.

It was sickening, how the sun shone bright at such a dark time. 

Louis took shallow breaths in between cries, gurgling something incomprehensible. Liam gently patted the back of his head in a calming motion, waiting for Louis to speak. They were sitting on the unmade bed, a small part of the bedsheet stained red with blood. 

Louis looked up, with puffy, blotchy eyes and tear tracks forming on his face.

"I lost them." His voice was barely above a whisper. "I-I-I failed as a b-brother and a son." His voice cracked towards the end, tears springing out again. "I have no where to g-go now. I _lost_." His voice faltered with the last word, saddening Liam. Liam bought him close to his chest again, the other man releasing gut wrenching noises, too sad to bear. 

It was sickening, how the sun shone bright at such a dark time. 

***

Once the tears had subsided and Liam had put on a fresh cloth over Louis' wound, something felt really foreign to Louis. He walked to the kitchen, banging the wood with every step, to make his presence well known. Liam was where he expected him to be, sitting on the counter with his gun resting innocently beside him, and his eyes focused on the parchment paper in hand.

Louis had no clue what was happening and he doubt he would later. Liam, in no way, told him anything. He was so used to him protecting him, that he never even tried to ask what was happening. But now, when he sees the look on Liam's face, eyes hollow and color drained, he knows that if he doesn't ask now, there's going to be something to pay later.

Liam finally caught up to Louis' stare and silently passed over the sheet to him. Louis took it with doubtful hands and turned it over. A huge-ass paragraph was written on the brown sheet in a messy drawl, the signature at the end running chills over his body. He read every word carefully, eyes widening with each sentence. 

**_Dear Louis,_ **

**_It had been great working with you and seeing you get hold of the power I never wish you had. I hope it feels nice to know what failure is now, but this isn't a joke or a school examination. You fail, you pay. I had been thirsty for some pain for quite a while now and I was surprised it was you who served it to me. The screams of the innocent did wonders to me. Here's to your end and my start. Doesn't it feel great?!_ **

**_Do not bother to write me back, your letters are restricted and will be torn and burnt the moment they enter._ **

**_Goodbye._ **  
**_Simon_ **

Louis dropped to his knees as he read the letter over and over again, face turning red. Never did a letter this short convey so much hatred. 

Liam got up to calm him, but Louis stopped him midway. Louis knew his face was turning redder with every passing moment but it was not sadness that made him feel the way he did anymore. He grinned maniacally, his hands ripping the paper under his death grip. Liam knew what he was up to, but he knew he couldn't stop him. Louis had a motive now, and when Louis had a motive, no one could make him budge.

Louis knew what he wanted. 

He wanted to _kill_. He wanted a _prey_. He wanted to hear _death_. He wanted to hear a _certain death,_ of a _certain prey_. He was _thirsty_ , and only it could quench it. He was ready. He wanted to win _one_ last time.

-

It was sickening, how the sun shone bright at such a dark time. 

***

"Where are we though? You sure as fuck don't live in the middle of a fucking forest. " Louis questioned while inserting the last of his five bullets. His big, big five bullets, that he would like to see pierce his prey's heart.

"I found this yesterday. It was abandoned with some spiders and a person." Liam replied coolly, like he didn't just throw up in the toilet some minutes ago.

"That's cool." Louis replied and then suddenly snapped his neck up. He approached Liam with careful steps. "What do you mean ' _person_ '?" 

Liam barked a laugh at Louis' confused expression and corrected. "I met this guy yesterday. Looks like he was renting. He pulled me in and pushed himself out. Less work for me then." He answered with a chuckle, recalling the previous day's meeting.

Louis pushed past him, expecting to hear a much more dramatic story and disappointed when he didn't. Liam followed, locking the door behind and hiking his shoulder bag up. 

At times like these, he found Louis really reliable. That young man's skill with directions was better than a map and that came handy. 

Louis had already planned a suitable route beforehand to exit this one hell of a forest without even a single scratch to their bodies. 

He himself was surprised how he wasn't all that fazed by the murder of his step-brother and father. They weren't that close anyways. Just that he had promised his mother on her deathbed, that he will protect them with all his might, but guess they planned on leaving without a goodbye. Louis would yet avenge their death, the death of the last two people he could call home. Simon killed them and left Louis homeless. Louis was tired of that. He wanted to fight and win the battle. 

He knew he would. 

***

Five hours of walking and throwing shit at each other, both Lous and Liam finally stepped into the open, urban air. 

The roads were endless, showing that they had to walk much more to see the first sign of human life.

Louis sighed tiredly. It was already 7 in the evening. The sun had started melting into the sky and the bats had awoken too. _Great_.

Liam nudged his elbow casually, careful of his wound and started for the walk again. 

Louis did want to kill, but he had no idea it was so much work.

***

  
And half past 8, they were welcomed with the utter chaotic smell of human civilization of the not so little district called Cheshire. 

Louis was so exhausted by then, he could just drop down to the asphalt to get a good night's sleep.

It was doubtful that Liam was just as energetic as when they started.

Hinting each other's tiredness, they forced their feet to take them to a place suitable to sleep and dine in. 

Guess Liam was just pretending to be tired for Louis' sake, because when his eyes fell upon this huge red building for a club, Louis had to hold him down so that he didn't get run over by a car due to his excitement.

Louis was way past caring, or even protesting, when Liam started dragging him along. He tried really hard to read the bright neon red banner hanging in the front of the building. When he did successfully get hold of the words, the name cracked him up. 

"Melon Cherries? Are they a club or a fruit salad?" He murmured as they passed a group of four, drinking and smoking joints together. 

Man, did he miss the smell of the burning stick Liam and him smoked when times weren't right. That was his only escape from this shitty reality. The high was heavenly. 

Before he could even fathom what was going around, he was pushed to the nearest sofa and then Liam was off. _That fucker._

Louis adjusted himself on the rather uncomfortable couch and looked around. What he saw was straight out of a bad porno.

_What is this._

A bulb went off in his brain when he finally understood the six or seven girls twirling around poles, half naked, licking god knows what, rather obscenely. 

He looked to his left, seeing a girl grinding down into a man, sucking on his neck. His right was rather the same, except he saw two girls kissing each other like they would die if they stopped.

He got lucky as he saw Liam making his way towards him with two beer bottles in one hand and some fries in the other.

Louis' stomach growled at that, getting an excuse to look away from the seemingly private moment the girls were sharing. 

"What _is_ this place?" Was the first question he asked Liam the moment his arse touched the couch, accompanied with a snort.

Liam flailed his hand around wildly, gesturing to the poles. He gulped his bug sip of the beer down and commented, "It's a _fucking strip club_. Thought you'd know that by _now_." That exasperation wasn't needed, but Liam is dramatic. He reached for another chip as he started washing beer down his throat like there was no tomorrow. 

Louis stared at him in disbelief, thinking it right to drop the topic, as he wouldn't like the conversation to end with either of them talking about the melons or the cherries on the banner.

***

They had found a small motel to stay the night in, after having an inadequate dinner at the club, Louis vowed never to go again.

***

It would be a lie if Louis said that he didn't sleep like a baby, because he did. Minus the sounds of the moans and the groans and the creaking of the bed overhead, it was quite a peaceful night. Wonder what had been happening above though. 

When it was about time to check out, Liam was so impatient it hurt. It _literally hurt_ as he had dragged Louis through such a crowd, Louis' feet were pummeled. 

Liam didn't stop rushing until he got a cab ready to go to the center village of the infamous Cheshire. It would have been a delight if Louis could enjoy the scenes playing straight ahead as the car moved but Liam made it impossible. 

They were to meet up with some kind of a dark guy, as Louis didn't listen to half of the conversation, in the dark alleys of Holmes Chapel to make Louis' murderous intents come true. 

Liam had made it very clear that they were going for pure business and not fuck ups. Sheesh. 

***

When they were dropped off to the store they were to meet behind, Louis didn't expect to see such dark side of this peppy village. There were teenagers smoking, men shouting, make out sessions, drug dealing, you name it. It was like the whole fucked up population of the United Kingdom joined alliances and planned to meet up here.

Before he could even breathe in the air of the dark side , Louis was being dragged away by very familiar hands. _Yesterday on repeat, I guess._

Liam stopped on his way, hands leaving Louis' collar and stepped ahead himself. Louis straightened his only fitting coat for the winters around his body, making sure the cold stayed away, no place open for it to enter.

He looked up from his fixing his cuffs and stopped partway. 

He recalled to when Liam had said that it was only pure business, this man being only _about_ business. 

The point stood its ground as he took in the man before him, chewing lazily on a piece of gum.

He was dressed in all black, no wonder. Skinny jeans hugging his long, endless legs, looking like a model's from Vogue, a too large overcoat fitted over broad shoulders, making him look intimidating in every way. His ringed fingers looked bony, yet beautiful, as they clutched the iPhone in his hand, the sun playing on the reflecting surface. He slowly looked up from the screen, sunglasses covering half of his face, which Louis was, undoubtedly, very eager to take a look at. His jaw was working slowly on the gum, which looked fucking sexy. 

And guess Louis' manifesting powers were stronger than he thought, the model before him slowly took of his black glasses, smirk setting on his face. 

And did Louis feel like dying happy. His eyes were green for fuck's sake, _emerald_ green, making him look like a Greek God straight out of the mythology books. His cheeks were tinted red, probably the cold freezing them. His hair, his _gorgeous_ hair, went just past his shoulders, curling at the ends, making him look prettier than any girl Louis had ever seen. His smirk was unwavering as he made his way towards them, pocketing his phone as is. 

Louis felt his stomach flip as the man pulled him into a curt hug, a very strong, spicy, musky scent being left off as he pulled away. Louis could smell that scent all day every year and still not get bored.

He heard Liam introducing the sexy as fuck guy to him, but he didn't bother to listen, except the name. The beautiful, beautiful name. 

"Louis, this is Styles. Harry Styles. Haz, this is my friend who I talked to you about. Louis Tomlinson." Louis had never seen Liam being so respectful. He was always the 'fuck respect, what dignity, Louis you are a bloody bastard' kind of guy. Louis doubted he even knew his last name. 

The so called Harry shook Louis' hand with finality, like he didn't want to touch him ever again, or as much as Louis brain thought, and Louis observed how huge his hands were. They literally were making his own hands feel baby. Huge, ringed, beautiful hands. Louis wondered if he had that weird hand fetish that Stan used to talk about. What the fuck.

As Harry let go off his hand, chilly air hit immediately. Louis hissed at the feeling, wondering about how warm Harry's actually were.

He was led through a tin door at the back, and he expected to see some kind of dungeon they showed in those Harry Potter movies, but what he was welcomed with, was not on his list.

The room felt endless, floor of polished wood, Louis could see his face, goddammit. The walls were painted a deep red, a huge, round mahogany table sitting in the middle of the room. The curtains were pulled together, to avoid any kind of life to even look at the tiniest part of the room. There were paintings hanging all over the walls, some looking like a kid made in their first kindergarten day, and some looking like composed by Leonardo Da Vinci himself. 

Harry took a seat behind the table, rummaging through his drawers. Louis followed Liam, as he made his way towards a seat before Harry. 

Harry released a little 'ah ha' and set a sheet of paper over the table. 

Louis looked at it, puzzled, as Harry rested his elbows on the table, his head supported by his hand, smirk in place.

"Sign this." Harry tapped the paper lightly, his voice a slow drawl and Louis heart reacted unpleasantly to it. It wasn't a bad feeling per se, it was like his heart was puffing out and chest tightening, knees jelly, and if he was standing, he would have already fallen.

Liam reached out and scribbled his name on the sheet, Louis sure that if that was him, his hands would have been trembling bad by then.

Harry dragged the sheet out of the way, clearing the table and getting up. Liam and Louis followed the action, confused about the way this meet was done so quick.

Harry reached the door, gripping the knob and opening it, he gestured the boys to announce their leave and leave him alone. Louis didn't like how Harry's face darkened with every second, surely getting impatient. Louis nudged Liam as he made his way towards the door, stopping before Harry to spit out a, "Wouldn't hurt to be polite. Where's his money for taking the time to sign your stupid paper?!" 

Harry's left eye twitched, his lips pulling up a little. He let his gaze fall on Liam, closing the door again. "Illegal. _You_ are illegal." He shrugged. It was how nonchalantly he spoke, irked Louis up. He heard a snort behind him, knowing that Liam would retort back with something that would shut Harry up. He waited with a smug look on his face, waiting for the much needed comment from his friend. Instead what he got was the feeling of two hands pinning his wrists behind his back, the force causing Louis to release a shriek. He flailed in the grip, knowing that Harry couldn't do it, if he was still standing in front of him with an evil grin was something to go by. He turned his head around, seeing the most familiar pair of eyes he knows in his dreams, staring right back at him with a look unreadable. Those light brown eyes that greeted him every morning, the eyes that made him his breakfast, the eyes that would make him laugh when he would be down, the eyes that wiped his tears when he would lose his way, but today the _same_ eyes were hurting hurt him like a brick. 

He was being dragged to the same chair he sat in before, and was expecting the most gruesome death, when he heard the same eyes speak, well, the _mouth_ speak, "I can't do it. I'm sorry Lou." Liam's voice was broken. "Go ahead. Stop him." His voice cracked as he took a step back, rather, as he was _pushed away_ by Harry.

Harry leaned before Louis, his right hand gripping the armrest tightly, the other under Louis' chin. "Who do you work for?" He whispered lowly, voice yet booming. Louis knitted his brows. "Pardon? Excuse me. Am I getting rewarded for something, that my sir _has_ to know about?" He back talked, resulting in Harry raising his chin up higher, hurting his neck. He leaned closer, his breathe haunting over Louis' left ear. Louis' face flushed as Harry drew slower. "Who. Do. You. Work. For. Tell me or you'll never see the light of day again."

Chills ran down Louis' neck as Harry gave his right foot a hard step on.

Louis hissed under the pain, foot already hurt, all thanks to Liam's dragging.

"S-S-Simon." He stuttered out, eyes shut close. Harry hummed lowly, voice rumbling around.

" _You_." He let his gaze fall on Liam and dropped Louis' chin. "Will get out now and not speak a word." He rounded Louis' chair and stood before Liam. He grabbed his shoulders and, "Can I keep him?" Harry sounded like a 4 year old asking for ice cream, but the situation was far from sweet. He was asking for a _goddamn_ _human_ , for fuck's sake. Liam swallowed and took in Harry's face. He was pouting, sure, but the look in his eyes and the smirk that was threatening to spill was an entire different story. 

Harry finally let his smirk burst full on. He nodded towards were Louis sat. "Look at the poor thing. I didn't tie him down, didn't handcuff him or rope him around." He tsked. "He's frozen. I doubt he'll decline my humble offer." He finished with a snort.

He noticed how Liam's face already dropped in defeat, not even five minutes into the conversation. "Thought so." He patted Liam's shoulder for the last time, with finality. 

He walked towards Louis, sitting still and and a sweating mess, and yanked him up from his chair. Louis whimpered in pain as he was being dragged towards the door, but he didn't, _couldn't_ , stop the intimidating man. "Fight me. Hit me. Cry for help. But I have you now, and I won't let you go easily." 

He pushed him out the open door and leaned toward the frame. "Get in the car." He ordered and Louis was bound to follow. He didn't want to die so quick. A chase is always worth it. He turned towards the direction of the car and was about to make a start for the open left road but was stopped by a rather loud call from behind. "Don't even think of running away. I have quite a reputation for starting fights." He moved behind and was about to close the door when he threw a "Don't worry. I usually win those fights too." He chuckled hysterically, like he cracked such a hilarious joke now. 

The door slammed shut.

Louis flinched.

Snow had started welcoming itself on earth. The rowdy crowd of before had cleared up. There was no sound around. No cars, no smoke, no beer bottles, no kissing sessions, no teenagers. He was alone.

His lips were turning a pale shade of blue and his cheeks were pink. His limbs were numb, heavy, the winter having no mercy. His eyes felt hollow and his brain was stuck. He couldn't make out what had happened. He was running out of air to breathe in, even though standing in the middle of an open road which stretched wide, left and right. He was alone without a soul around him, a soul that was always around him. The soul that was warm and friendly and calming and happy. Tears stung in Louis' eyes. He lost his precious soul. He lost his Liam to a man who was likely to bury everyone who stood before him. 

Louis lost today. Not once, but twice. 

He lost his home, now his soul. 

Tears rolled down in streams, as he clutched his sweater harshly. It hurt. 

An orange ray of light poured from between the clouds above, highlighting the cold weather. 

-

It was sickening, how the sun shone bright at such a dark time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated. xx  
> Update soon :)


End file.
